p e n g u i n d e v i l

What filmic changes might be approaching? Though it is a most crass question, I will (for a few moments) ponder the notion of upcoming lifestyle changes. Will the baby lead to more films? Fewer? Honestly, I hope for more family time and fewer films, but I realize that I know not what lies ahead… In fact, how to we know what’s already here? I traversed the misinformation highway to that trite bastion of banality… Blogthings. Gosh, some of the quizzes sound entertaining, but they really aren’t. A little pondering and I decided that there wasn’t anything great going on there…

The sucker for multiple choice tests that I am though, I let the site work its magic. In a few too many minutes of examining the site, I learned the following about myself: I’m more of a visionary than a radical, I belong in 1962, my cynicism borders on paranoia, I’m 4% hypochondriac and 92% Socialist, I Passed 8th Grade Science & history, I’m 48% NYC and 16% Boston but I belong in the UK. I am Olive Green, I could be a vegetarian and I should rule Venus. I also am a Centaur who has experienced 56% of Life, is 50% Misanthropic, 24% brutally honest, 30% weird, 48% gentleman and my personality is shared by only 6% of all men. Oh yeah, and I would, on average, sell out for $1,118,111.

So for what it’s worth, there’s that.

First off, my favorite comedy of errors, and just plain “one of my favorites” came to the big screen, albeit in a rather sad form. I know that I’ve seen it too many times but Aliens coming to a theater is a rare occasion. I doubt that I’ve seen it on the big screen since the year it was released… So here it was, and here I went. Well, the print was terribly scratched, which showed its age and let me know right off that it wasn’t the director’s cut (a boy has to hope), but it was worth every penny it costs to see it. First thoughts? Well, while it was a brilliantly constructed masterpiece on its release (and continues to thrill on dvd), watching a twenty year old sci-fi movie on the big screen and two things may become very apparent: blue screen and matte paintings… Scenes that I thought, at one time, to be wondrous were more like, um, “they’re just standing in front of a painting, even the props right next to them aren’t there?”. So with time, one must yield more of the disbelief. But the movie is still great fun. 20 times and, yes, none of the suspense remains, but it’s still worth it to see… and listen to, since one area that Aliens has always excelled at is its quoteability. It may be my favorite quote movie yet: “in the tube, five by five”, “Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen!”, “yeah, but secreted from what?”, “Yeah…but it’s a dry heat…”. The hours of enrichment those lines have brought to my life are uncountable!

Sadly, of course, it also suffers from the worst last ten minutes of any film. As soon as they get back to the ship, not only does the story get ridiculous, it becomes most unacceptably corny for such an otherwise great action film.

Then just a few hours ago I went to see The Host. Well, I didn’t have any idea what to expect, but this wasn’t it! Basically a Korean comedy monster movie, it was easygoing, action-packed and fun. I really appreciated how they just got right down to business. It’s not far into the movie before the monster is full screen running amok everywhere, which I find to be perfectly acceptable for a monster movie. The lil’cgi monstrosity gets plenty of air time and, though the film is very lighthearted, it also includes: people chomping, the regurgitation of body parts, Agent Yellow, lots of running, some shooting and a greatly inept and irresponsible US Army. Chemicals dumped in the Han River lead to a big thing being created and kidnapping a young girl. Of course, the family sets off in pursuit of her. The CGI isn’t great, but it’s so out in the open that I can’t really have a problem with it, and I thought that the monster was a lot of fun. Anyway, not one for the “own it” pile, but certainly worth seeing if you like nutty monster movies. And as for the humorous parts? I’ve seen some terrible comedic moments in foreign films (Half a Loaf of Kung-Fu, anyone? A Better Tomorrow?), but this movie’s humor is nice, funny and low key.