p e n g u i n d e v i l

What do you get if you sick an overly large clan of vampires against a defenseless town with no hope of assistance or escape? Well, if it takes place in the cold, in a town that is dark for a month straight, you get 30 Days of Night. Though the way the movie flows it seems more like three days of night, which is probably all that our heroes would be able to survive in a situation like this anyway.

So maybe it’s a little light on the likeliness, but I thought that 30 Days of Night had a fun looking preview so I’d tried once before, but it just seemed too bad to get more than 10 minutes into. Last night though, wanting something brainless and filled with bloody action, I finally made it through. The story of Barrow, Alaska during the month that the sun spends below the horizon. This year, strange things start happening after the people that can’t take it leave and the few remaining folks prepare for a cold dark month. Dogs being killed, vandalism, and then when a creepy drifter with strange yellow teeth, a rather forward bad manner and a hillbilly drawl shows up and gets arrested… You have to start wondering, especially when all the power goes off and he gives them the old “here they are, you’re all dead” speech.

The young sheriff and his ex-girlfriend decide to protect a ragtag band of townspeople, hiding out while the rest of the town is slaughtered, hoping to avoid the baddies for a month(?!). This is their tale of attempted survival. It’s pretty standard fare for modern horror movies. A hackneyed script, nice environment (that is, if you like horror movies in the dark and frozen) and, in fact, in one scene the overhead shots of the town bear a striking resemblance to the original Postal video game… Hmm… Postal?

postalize me

Their chances seem unlikely as they are up against a philosophy spouting Bolshevik-era vampire leading a group of goths with all the great vampire powers of leaping tall buildings, gross yellow teeth, viciousness to people’s necks and a great resistance to gunfire. Lord knows where these people have come from, but they aren’t planning on leaving anything behind here. There are some good bits: I like the baddies alright (and while their lines are as hokey as the townsfolk, at least they’re a bit philosophical), there are also heads blowing up, death by heavy machinery, bear traps, folks being cut in two, folks being driven over, and lots of gross and bloody fanged maws. So while it wasn’t particularly good (and wasn’t scary at all) it was certainly watchable, and fun to watch… The baddies are nearly indestructible but then an odd twist occurs and we come to the last couple of scenes. The sudden switch from “everyone is doomed” to a highly unlikley “feel good” ending, leaves a lame taste in my mouth.

We also watched Muriel’s Wedding. A charming and quirky little story of a girl realizing that something (everything) is missing from her life so she steals some money and runs off to the big city to find her future. She is obsessed with getting married (not even finding the right person, just getting married) and all of her missteps are very charming. If you like this sort of thing, it’s a fun little movie.