p e n g u i n d e v i l

I try, I swear. This week I had another one of those urges to enjoy the Lord of the Ring trilogy. So I put in the extended version of The Fellowship of the Ring, we watched it and, well, I don’t know. While it looks good and has plenty of action, the boring scenes (any involving the “shire” or the lands of the, phhhft, elves) are too boring! Especially the scenes in the land of Lothlórien! Unbearable! Corny! But aside from Orlando Bloom’s Legolas (who has at least some spring in his step and doesn’t talk in an annoying whisper while being shot with a soft lens), the elves really chaff me. Even Cate Blanchett, who I generally like as an actress, is so moofy and simperingly irritating here, I just.. argh! Where are an orkle of orcs when you need them?

Though those boring scenes do have their highlights. The Shire (minus the hobbits) does look like it would be a nice place to live and I do like Bilbo’s house in the shire… In terms of the elf lands, the “Elrond’s Council” scene in Rivendell can’t help but bring to mind the f’n brilliant Jack Black “giving up of the ring” parody. So it’s got that going for it.

Most of the characters in The Fellowship of the Ring are either dull or irritating, with the exceptions of Gimli, Boromir and the old favorites: the Ring Wraiths. I liked all of them and they enabled me to survive the rest. Though Gimli is sadly almost just comic relief. Trying to make a movie out of this has sapped a lot out of these characters, but the Wraith’s still got it…

For those who don’t know. As told in The Hobbit, a little guy named Bilbo Baggins goes on an adventure and ends up coming back with a ring that makes him invisible. Of course the ring is actually a millenniums old artifact that belonged to (and somewhat contains the spirit of) an evil lord named Sauron. The Lord of the Rings (printed as three books) is the story of Bilbo’s nephew Frodo as he learns about the ring and set off on a journey to attempt the rings destruction. It’s a race against time as the dark lord is strengthening and not only sending out his forces to locate the ring, but also preparing armies to conquer the world! Sadly, Frodo has to basically go to Sauron’s house to destroy the ring and this first part of the story is him setting out, gaining some compatriots in allegiance (a fellowship, I dare say) and heading off towards the land of Mordor. Of course they encounter allies (always those stinky elves), adversaries (The wraiths, orcs, uruk-hai, etc) and betrayal.

All in all it is a good film version. Probably superior to the Bakshi version that I have thought fondly of the last 3 decades and his has a lot of fighting. And I did quite like the Mines of Moria, easily the neatest place that they travel to. The troubles within (aside from my life long dislike of any elf or any portrayal of an elf) are that, well, it is better as a book (I suppose that goes without saying) and most troublesome about the film itself are a lot of the scenes, the screenplay and the music! They have utilized these to add a terrible and unbearable schmaltzy aspect of melodrama to the story that I have a hard time sitting through. The weepy gazes, comic relief, overwrought music turn it from a “serious” fantasy story of good versus evil into another Hollywood epic. Albeit with much more interesting scenery and a more unusual plot then most. But hey, I remember these stories from my teen years and even with all of that, it is fun to watch a lengthy and generally well made version on the screen.

And look, at the far right… It’s Brett!

I’ve got such a big backlog of crap I barely recall from the last few months. I’ll just jot down some vague memories.

We watched Serpico. I feel somewhat surprised that I had never gotten around to seeing it as it is quite considered the classic. And I would have to say that it is pretty darn good. Brought to us by Sidney Lumet who, again with Al Pacino, would bless us with the great Day Day Afternoon two years later! Serpico is a straight-ahead 1970’s police movie… Stress, tension, yelling all that good stuff. But then again, I am partial to a good 1970’s crime films. Also, this is, of course, based on a true story. Al Pacino does a stellar job (though some of his fashions.. I don’t know) as Frank Serpico. The policeman who put it all on the line to expose corruption in the NYPD. Okay, I’ll give it away… He Gets Shot! But then, that’s the first scene anyway.

After that we go back to his days as a young policeman who idealistically joins the force (does anyone do that anymore?). He feels that he can improve things as he believes that using psychology and communication is the way to deal with criminals rather than force. Somewhat unusual for the NYPD and the rest of the men have a hard time getting accustomed to him. He also notices that all of the other officers are on the take. The movie becomes an uncomfortable pile of tension as he somewhat goes along with the other officers, while refusing his share of the take… Which makes them mad to no end. While this is going on he is trying to make detective and as he tries to complain to the higher ups about the corruption he ends up making more and more enemies on the force. And, as one might imagine, putting himself and those around him in a good deal of danger.

And Feast of love. This one was actually fairly entertaining, though certainly a chick flick. The story of two friends (Morgan Freeman and Greg Kinnear) their personal issues and those people around them. Freeman is, of course, the elder who is wise and strong in his ways, while Greg is an oblivious yet well-meaning fellow of the “why can’t we all just get along” persuasion who owns loses his way in life when his wife leaves him. As he sets out to find new love, up comes a second (and more action-filled, in more ways than one) line of the movie which is the love story of two of Kinnear’s young employees and their troubles. Of course, the movie includes drama, drugs, death, heart-break and lots of nakedness but, more than anything else… It was filmed in Portland! And not just filmed in Portland like most of the movies there, but there is Portland all over it. Kinnear’s coffee shop is the Fresh Pot on Mississippi, there is lots of shooting at Reed… It was fun to watch it now from far away. My first Portland movie I’ve seen away from Portland. But it was also a perfectly fine movie. Much better than most of the “adult romance” crap that comes out of Hollywood movie.

Oh, and we watched Juno. Which was a charming little movie. I’m not sure why it got such crazy buzz, but it was just dandy. The story of a high school girl who unintendedly gets pregnant. Juno decides to go through with the pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption so off she goes to find the right people to give to. Ellen Page is charming and fun as Juno, a girl who has some quirks that are a little too quirky and is yet very sure of herself (in a way) as she seems have little trouble coming to terms with her situation. Though there are some good relationships in the film with her boy/friend, her father and her step-mother, the meat of the movie seems to be her developing friendship with the future adoptive father, who is much older then she but they bond on his continued youthful interests in music and horror movies and such grand things.

Now that Elinor is approaching 2 years old and it is much too cold to spend time outside, she is discovering kid’s movies. I have generally not payed much attention to them, but I did end up sitting through Ratatouille. The story of a rat who loves to cook and gets his chance when he teams up with the garbage boy at a famous restaurant in Paris. Of course, many shenanigans occur as they become famous all while the kid is actually cooking under the instruction of a rat under his hat. Like seemingly all Pixar movies, it looked great and had a fun and unexpectedly rich storyline.