p e n g u i n d e v i l

As a nice break from other watching this week, I watched what would be one of the best movies I’ve seen this year, Kingdom of Heaven. I’ve always liked Knight movies, and I’ve long had a passing interest in the Crusader Kingdoms so, since it came out, I had always wanted to see this film. The story of a young blacksmith in France who is having a hard time (involving the suicide of his wife and some harassment) when some knights pass through town. It seems that the leader of this bunch (Liam Neeson) is a baron from the crusader states who has come to Europe to mend issues with his son, this said blacksmith. The Crusaders are quite charismatic, being a grim lot and caring little for laws or life, but quite noble and pious, for professional soldiers. The blacksmith ends up being invited to come with them back to the holy land, which he has little interest in doing, but of course, he ends up following them along and soon takes over his father’s plot of dust in the Kingdom of Jerusalem. Then unfolds: political intrigue, warring with Saladin, romance, backstabbing and all of that sort of stuff. This is all happens at a pivotal time, the years preceding the fall of the Kingdom of Jerusalem towards the end of the 12th century. Most of the characters involved are actual figures from the time: Guy of Lusignan, Raynald of Châtillon, the Leper King Baldwin the IV. And it seems to stick pretty close to reality as far as historical events are involved, which makes it a more interesting film, though they make no attempt to depict the rather exciting Battle of Hattin, instead showing only the lead up and the aftermath. I thought this was an odd choice, as it seems it could have been an exciting, grand and pivotal scene… Against all of this, substantial (nay, excessive) liberties are taken with our lead character, the blacksmith, Balian of Ibelin (Orlando Bloom), I imagine to make him into a sympathetic hero for 20th century movie audiences. The rest of the story is well put together and intrigues with some history that is not much thought about anymore, though strangely relevant, since one could consider the Crusades against the Muslims in the Holy Land to be continuing to the present day.

And, it certainly looks good. Great costumes and sets and very nice cinematography and, of course as it is a Ridley Scott film, direction… Its three hour length goes by easily. I tried the extended version, as I heard it made for a much better film that then theatrical one. Basically it is very nice looking, with a nice feel to it and a nice flow to the story. Once Balian arrives in Jerusalem and begins to get settled, the movie bogs down a bit with feel good scenes and romance, but soon appear the giant armies of the Lord led by the silver-masked leper king and the more-giant armies of Saladin and great combat scenes and lots of nice blood spatters are in store. I mean, a whole lot of quite clear blood spatters, though as I had to watch it in VLC, it was nearly impossible to get a good cap of any particular scene. Yes, there is a bit of the good old Hollywood melodrama and impassioned speeches, but they are little enough and pass by quickly. Though the big climax does get a bit overly mushy and has badly suited music.

Ridley Scott is a fine director and it really shows here, Liam Neeson is always nice to see, with the air of seriousness that he adds to his roles. And though I began to get over my dislike for Orlando Bloom, since he actually does a fine job, My favorite was the trusty Crusader played by David Thewlis (Knox Harrington, the video artist, from Big Lebowski). He had a great and endearing character.

coming of the cross

one here…

and another…

And then, another long awaited disappointment. I watched Sayonara Jupiter. It was like a corny 1950’s sci-fi version of a cheap Japanese retelling of 2001 – A Space Odyssey. It was the lamest future I have ever seen in a movie, the acting is quite bad and it is terribly dumb. The story of a crew around Jupiter who are engaged in a project to ignite Jupiter so that it becomes a star. Since the population has spread out so far through the solar system, it seems a better energy source for them then lame old far away Sol. And though they never broach the practical problems with this idea, I imagine that it seems plot enough? No, well then throw in some pro-Jupiter terrorists intent on stopping the project, who are part of a “religion” of hippie beach bums on Earth (who look just like current day beach bums) who follow a man called Peter who plays sappy songs on his acoustic guitar while hanging out with a dolphin, and then, throw in a rogue black hole which must be stopped, as it is heading right towards the sun… Play the whole thing out with some of the worst acting you can ever see (and are they wearing their street clothes?), and have all this take place on sets that look like the backrooms of a warehouse and you’ve got it! The only interesting thing is that the dialog is in English, Japanese, French and German. Which is a bit odd.