p e n g u i n d e v i l

Yes, I realize that one can’t expect much from a Diamond DVD, but it certainly takes some gall to label this cheap crap “fully restored & re-mastered digital masters”. The darned thing looked worse than most of the 20 year old vhs that I have. What was this washed out thing? Why none other than the famed Count Dracula and his Vampire Brides! In a lot of ways, it comes across just like a 1970’s action film, with very little on the horror. Lots of gunfire and scenes of police supposing back and forth. The bad guys? Well, let’s just say that sideburns and sheepskin vests do not an intimidating security force make…

whoa!
dracula & his vampire brides 36:08

Dracula and his four powerful friends are going about having satanic rituals as they plan to spread the bubonic plague across the world. Looking like a home movie remake of Eyes Wide Shut and 12 Monkeys turned into a Dracula movie, it just doesn’t convince. The immortal count comes across more like an evil CEO than an supernatural being of extreme power. It does perk up when Van Helsing shows up and starts to take care of things. Peter Cushing carries this role off well, of course, he does his same old grand job, as the indomitable actor he always has been. Christopher Lee though, is almost a cameo role until the hour mark where he finally shows up and struts his stuff…In addition to wasted appearances by Christopher Lee and Cushing, it also features some of the most unconvincing vampire brides I’ve ever seen, lame action scenes, bad sets, terrible 1970’s music and, well, it is just plain not good. Though there are some good scenes later in the film, but, even with it’s last few minutes (which have been mined for many dramatic images of Lee) it is certainly one of the lesser vampire films I’ve seen. Though it may be improved with a better transfer and some cleaning up, it’s just not particularly convincing as a Dracula film.

mailorder vampire brides…
dracula & his vampire brides 43:25

It is also available as The Satanic Rites of Dracula (from The Hammer Collection), which hopefully looks better but, like I said, I’m not certain that would be enough to save it from itself.

lee…
dracula & his vampire brides 1:16:18

Oi yes. And then a film that I have much been awaiting watching again. We watched Escape from New York. It’s been on my wish list for years… not anymore. I’m glad I watched this before buying the dvd. I have such fond memories of this film: the great cast, the fun concept, a place called Chock Full o’ Nuts, the car with chandeliers… While Carpenter has made some great classics, he has made some big bad ones, too. This one wastes an incredible cast: Donald Pleasence, Adrianne Barbeau, Lee Van Cleef, Isaac Hayes, Harry Dean Stanton… how did it go so wrong?

Featuring Snake Pliskin, badly overplayed by Kurt Russell, as an infamous criminal given one last chance for freedom by saving the President. See, the President’s plane is hijacked and crashed into Manhattan (which has become a prison) but the President escapes in his escape pod. Van Cleef, as the police superintendent, gives Pliskin the chance to earn his own freedom by finding him and bring him safely out. But the President has fallen into the hand of the Duke (Hayes) and his group of loser’s (especially the one goth who looks uncannily like a cross between young Steve Buscemi and Klaus Kinski). Snake teams up with Maggi (Barbeau in an eyecatching trademark outfit) and the Brain (Stanton) and Ernest Borgnine!

Anyway, the movie has aged badly. The “Manhattan in the background” scenes are bad, the airplane scenes are bad. the acting is bad, the script is bad. It’s basically all around bad. But it was charming as a fond memory for folks like myself who were 13 when it hit the theaters. Now though I realize that it’s really just on par with those Van Damme and Chuck Norris action cheapos.

So, yes, I have managed to get in a couple of movies this week. Hopefully that will pick up as we get more accustomed to our new ways.